Typetrigger: wish it were

I wonder what it’s like
to wish things were different,
to have turned so wrong
somewhere
or be turned so wrong
by someone,
by something.
I wonder what it’s like
to stop pretending that life,
unedited,
shouldn’t include regret,
or sorrow,
or guilt,
or fear.
         because everything has gone
according to plan.
I wonder what it’s like
when everything has gone.
When you’ve spent too much
time wishing what could have been
instead of living what is.