[fiction] The Quarry - rev

Here is the edited final version, based on the feedback I received in the workshop.  Enjoy!

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     He swore he could hear a tick coming from the dashboard clock as he stared through the moisture accumulating on the glass.  He focused in on the numbers, willing the time to disappear, but they glowed proud and still, issuing a wretched provocation in their insistency.  The dark car was parked at the edge of the overlook, the engine silent, still he pressed his boot hard into the brake.  Every few minutes he unclenched his jaw when the tension had risen so high he feared cracking his teeth; a fissure that resembled the one in the windshield before him, he imagined, and would slowly fracture down through his bones and into his soul, leaving only jagged, crumbled remains.  He swallowed hard, forcing himself to focus on the impending action, steeling his resolve, cold as the barrel he fingered in his left hand.  He could still hear the ticking.

It was no surprise to see the headlights turn into the lot below, but he sat at full alert, opening the door slightly as he ground his left heel into the gravel.  A timorous figure emerged from the vehicle, glided discretely between the misty shadows, and finally stepped into the pallid light, standing with her back to his vantage.  He didn’t need to see her face, he recognized every curve of the silhouette, her graceful stride, the muted confidence with which she carried herself, even now when she was so visibly uneasy among the lithic walls.  He sat back at the thought of her, of everything they had been through, of everything they had sacrificed for each other, and wondered what affliction could drive her to such unthinkable betrayal.  He shook his head to rid it of any remorse and slowly clicked the bolt back over the firing chamber of his rifle.  No, she had made her fate, it was his to seal, it was his directive.  

He crouched forward, nesting the long barrel on the door hinge, focusing his scope for a fatal mark.  He was relieved by her facelessness, by the fact that he could remember her as she once was, that he would never again have to meet her deceitful gaze.  In those seconds, as he held his breath, she seemed motionless.  The fog cleared and the world was still.  He steadied his nerve and delicately tightened his index finger over the trigger, counting between heartbeats to time the shot.  As he squeezed tighter, she turned suddenly, staring deep into the weapon aimed against her.  There was no way she could have seen him perched in the shadows above, but the shock of her crystalline eyes caused him to recoil, sending an errant bullet into the stone face beyond her shoulder.  

The snap of the impact caused her to spin in alarm, and she started toward her car.  Something snapped in him as well.  Her unwitting confrontation stirred every vengeful desire he had fought to conceal.  In an instant he stashed the rifle, hoisted himself from the car, and descended the flaking walls of the pit with a stealth not known to human creatures.  He covered nearly 100 meters of ground before she could reach twenty steps.  He pulled a pistol from his side holster and aimed it at her as they paused only briefly, staring into the darkness.  She had yet to see him, but instinctively gave chase, and he charged furiously.  Within moments, he was upon her, snagging her arm and causing her to lunge face-first into the rubble.

He froze outside the greenish halo that lit down from the lamp above, waiting intensely for her to move.  Instead, she sobbed, her hand clutching at the rocky shards beneath her face.  His lip pinched into a sneer as she wiped her eyes and struggled to her knees, facing her attacker.  He pointed the gun at her and stepped back further into the shadow.

“Who are you?  What do you want?”  Her attempt at making a command was betrayed by the warble of fear in her voice.  She breathed hard and scrambled to her feet, gingerly wiping the blood that had begun to run down her temple.  He stood silent.

“Listen to me, please!  Whatever this is, whatever you need, I can help.” She paused impatiently. “Just tell me what you want.  Why did you call me here?”

He growled low as he stepped closer, and she shuddered.
“Who-” she squinted her eyes to focus into the shadows.  “Eli?!”  Her deduction was spiked in tension between relief and bewilderment.  He made no recognition, but began to pace around her, staying one step ahead of her gaze.  

“Not who you expected?” he toyed.

“No, not, …. no.  Please, you don’t belong here-”

“Neither do you!”  He switched the direction of his stride, and her head swiveled back.

“It’s not what you think, you’ve made a mistake.”

“I have no reason to believe you anymore.  I know what this is.  I’ve seen the evidence-”

“You don’t know how deep this goes… there’s a history, Eli.”  She began to cry.  “Just listen to me, you need to know the truth!”

“STOP your foolishness-” he stops circling and stares with contempt.

“Please, Eli, you weren’t there, you were called away, I had to make a choice!”

“You made the wrong one!” He roared as he impulsively struck the butt of the gun against her cheek.  She crumbled to her knees, sobbing.

“Listen, please,” her cry was soggy with desperation.  

He grabbed her by the chin.  “Get up!”  He sneered again at the sight of blood staining her ivory skin.

“Listen to me!  You don’t have to do this, it’s not too late for us,” she shouted, clutching at his shirt.  He shoved her away.

“It’s too late for that, it’s too late for you.” 

“No, Eli, please!”

He stood as hard and cold as the towering walls around him, glaring at her with disgust.

“Please,”  she begged once more as she bowed her head, silently weeping for only a few moments before growing still.  He heard no more weeping, no more gasping, and the trembling stopped.  The silence paralyzed him.  She straightened her body and took willful, steady steps forward, until he could feel the heat of her presence.  As she raised her eyes, his mouth watered at the leaden scent of the blood that he had drawn from her skin.  

“Do what you must, but don’t be foolish enough to think you can win this.  Not this way.  The truth can’t be killed.”  It was a cold reprimand, the last warning she could issue.  She uttered one final word to him, hardly an audible breath.  He spoke no response and made no expression, but his eyes betrayed a sudden terror that gripped his heart.  She breathed a sigh and reached for his arm.  Her glare never faltered as she raised the weapon, but her face lost all character, her eyes all color as she pressed the gun, in his hand, hard against her temple.  She stepped back slightly, burning her gaze into him as she issued the guttural command.

“Do it…… DO IT!”